Stepping Ahead while Glancing Behind
by Omega Devin
Summary: My first Evo fic, so be gentle. Inspired by not-so resent events. Kitty Pryde's thoughts and feelings about her friends and what's important to her during her high school graduation. Some implied Kitty/Kurt, but very little and nothing fluffy, I promis


Author's note: Okay gang, this is my first X-men Evolution fanfic, so don't kill me too badly if it's horrible, which it probably is ****

Author's note: Okay gang, this is my first X-men Evolution fanfic, so don't kill me too badly if it's horrible, which it probably is. Forgive me if the characters are out of…character. I'm new to the series.

First the legal mumbo-jumbo: I don't own any of the characters from this show. Not. A. One.

I would have to say that this was inspired from resent events. As of June 6, 2001, I graduated as a senior from my high school. Even thought I had no school spirit/pride/whatever in my four years at East Union High, I don't know what possessed me to write this. I have some personal insights to the whole graduation thing at the end of the fic, so you can read those if you want, but no one's making you. ::hides knife:: No, not at all…::nervous coughing laughter::

------

Stepping Ahead While Glancing Behind

Written By Kyheena

For the umpteenth time, Kitty stopped her pacing and stopped by the mirror in the front hall of the Xavier Institute. She sighed, brushed off her gown and readjusted the cap on her head. The tassel that hung close to her left ear swung as she shifted the cap. Bringing her hand down slightly, she frowned at her image and pushed it back to its original position. It was a loosing battle. For some reason every time she did that it made it look worse, mussing up her chestnut hair, that actually hung freely about her shoulder in soft waves. Despite herself, Kitty Pryde ground her teeth at her image and raked her fingers through her hair, but it did nothing to ease the butterflies in her stomach.

"Whoa, Kitty, calm down." Even Daniels said as he took note of her distress. "There's no use getting so worked up. I mean, you're only making it worse." 

"Have you tried, like, putting yourself in my position, Even?" Kitty snapped at him. "Just think about it for a moment."

Even did look like he thought of it, then shuttered, causing a soft ripple in his burgundy robes. "Don't want to. Speaking in front of crowds scare me. Now that I do think of it, you have every right to be nervous."

"Oh, that's so comforting." Kitty shot back, looking back in the mirror to toy with her cap again. He didn't know how she felt. She had never been so nervous in her entire life, and nothing that anyone have been telling her has made her feel any better. Maybe that was why she nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt hands on top of her own.

"Evan, the others are waiting in the X-van. I would like to have a word with Kitty before we leave." Came Jean Grey's soft, gentle voice from over Kitty's head. The younger girl calmed down instantly. 

"Sure thing." Evan said before he stepped out the door.

"Jean, what am I supposed to do?" Kitty asked as she let Jean sooth her hair. "It was like, so hot today during practice today that I didn't get a chance to even practice it in front of the class, and even then the thought terrified me! If I can't do it in front of my peers, then how am I supposed to, like, do it in front of all of their parents and family?"

Jean carefully turned Kitty around, removing her cap before replacing it correctly on her head. "Kitty, you have absolutely nothing to be afraid of. I've heard you speak in front of others before, you're a natural."

"Yes, but this is…this is different. This is in front of like, the largest crowd that a school sees all year! These people will remember this night forever! What if I choke? I'll forever be known as the girl who choked while giving a speech at her own graduation."

Jean smiled down at the younger girl whom she had grown into an almost little sister over the years. "Now, you're not going to let a little speech ruin your night, are you? This is going to be one of the most important nights of your life. You should be thinking of it as a happy event, not as something that's pulling you down. I mean, it's not every day that you're Salutatorian of your high school." Kitty gave a small laugh. Stupid gymnastics class. "You'll do great, I know you will. I've listened to your speech before, and it's great. You've been practicing all week. Besides, we're there for you, all of us, in the stands, cheering you on."

Kitty was silent for a moment. "Were you nervous when you graduated?"

"I still get goosebumps thinking about it, but they're the good time. The type that you get when you remember something really good in your life, and that's when I was just sitting in my chair for the entire night before they called my name. What you're doing tonight is more than I could ever do in my life. I don't think I would ever be able to even consider giving a speech. So, what do you say? Ready to do this?"

Kitty smiled, feeling much better at her friends words. "Yeah…I guess. I mean, there's like no point in backing out now, right?"

"No, I suppose not. And think about it this way; we'll remember this speech as your own memorable moment to night, so you won't have to pull some fancy stunt so we'll know where you are when you get your name called." Kitty laughed at the memory. Last year at his own graduation, Kurt Wagner had preformed a fairly impressive collection back flips on his way back to his seat once his diploma was in his hand, catching most of the audience's attention.

"That's better." Jean said. "Let's go. The others are waiting." Kitty nodded in agreement, scooping her notecards off from the small tabletop and followed Jean out the front door.

It was warm for June as the day slipped into evening, the setting sun staining the sky different hues of gold and red, giving Bayville a very warm, comforting feeling. There was something in the air too, something good, something that suggested that tonight would be a very special night indeed. The two young women made their way across the walkway of the Xavier Institute and to the garage where the X-van was halfway pulled into the driveway, the rest of the team within.

"Vow." Kurt said as Kitty and Jean stepped in, closing the door behind them with a solid slam. Kitty slid into the back seat with Kurt and Rouge while Jean took the middle seat with Evan. Ororo and Professor Xavier were in the front with Ororo at the wheel. "It's hard to believe zat's in been a year already. It zeems like yesterday that ve were in your sport, right Rouge?" Rouge only nodded.

"Are Scott and Logan at the school?" Jean asked as Ororo backed the van out of its driveway, closing the door behind them.

"Yes." The Professor answered. "To save us seats while you and Kitty were inside. I hope that everything was all right?" He turned around in the passenger seat to look back at his students.

"Oh, everything was fine. Kitty's just a little nervous about tonight it all." Jean answered. Kitty didn't hear any of it. Her eyes and attention were focused out the tinted window, looking out to the passing town but not seeing anything. In an hour's time she would be walking up to the podium as she had this morning to give her Salutatorian's speech to the entire audience who had come to watch the Bayville High Graduation ceremony.

Within moments they were in the parking lot of the high school and found an appropriate space in less time than Kitty had hoped for. Just beyond the heavy door of the van stood a sea of deep gold and burgundy; Bayville High's official school colors, boys in burgundy, girls in gold. Evan was out of the van first, despite the fact that Jean was sitting in front of him, and running towards the group of excited teens. "I'll see you guys later!" He called. "Look for me! I'll be the one wearing red!" The others couldn't help but laugh at his joke as he was swallowed into the crowd.

"I'd better get going to…" Kitty said slowly. "They like, want all of the gold-shawl students up front way before it even begins."

"We'll be cheering for you." Jean said as the rest of the team headed for the stadium, waving their good-byes. "Good luck, Kitty!" Kitty only nodded stiffly. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up into Kurt's smiling eyes. 

"Don't vorry, Katzchen." He said. "I know you'll be fine."

Kitty managed a weak smile. "Thank you, Kurt. I'll see you when it's over."

Her own words offered little comfort to herself. It was just so _different_ now from the past! For the last three years, always at this time, the whole X-men team repeated a familiar routine; a few of their own would graduate from Bayville High. The first year had been a little anxious since it Scott would walk first, but the next year it was a lighter attitude when Jean graduated. Then it was Kurt and Rouge at the same time. Kurt had been dancing from the moment he got up to the moment that he fell asleep on his graduation day, which was had actually spanned over a course of two and a half days. He had been overjoyed that he had graduated, repeating often that he thought that he would never live a day just like that, to graduate from high school as a normal person. It was one of the few times that he had lasted an extended period of time without ridiculing himself about his appearance. It was a feel-good time for them all.

But Kitty also noticed something else with each passing year, with each graduation. Then again, it didn't take a lot of brainpower to notice the shrinkage of their group at school. Sure, Kitty would see them every day back at home, but it took out a certain charm that made school enjoyable, especially during lunch. As the years passed, there was no Scott to constantly remind them of the seriousness of what they were. Then there was no Jean to keep them in check, reminding them when it was time to stop playing around when it was time for a test. The year after the redhead's absence, there was no Kurt to make them laugh by cracking a joke or occasional prank, or even to bust a move on top of the tables when his mood was especially up. Kitty even missed Rouge's sulking. 

Then there was the matter of the school yard being way too quiet as the Brotherhood left as well, one by one, just as they did, starting with Lance, then Fred, then Pietro. Soon, the only people that were left was Evan, Todd, and herself. Toad had become nothing more than a pest than a bully, like he was with when he was with his friends, and it took nothing more than a swat to keep him in check. Kitty still had Evan though, but when he wasn't making a grab for her milk (which didn't take long as there was now only one carton to swipe) he was usually skateboarding and, unfortunately, getting himself in trouble with the principal, Ms. Darkholme. 

__

I guess that's one good thing about after tonight. Kitty thought, her spirits picking up again. _Since everyone seems to be sticking around the institute, I'll be able to be with them all again._ Placing her golden shawl over her shoulders and then draping her gold-and-burgundy-entwined cord over that, she headed over to the spot the school's top students were scheduled to meet at. "Kitty!" She turned to Evan's voice and saw him holding a thumb-up to her. "Good luck! I'll be routin' for ya!"

* * *

"Well, out of all people I would expect to see here." Scott said as he turned his head behind his shoulder. Several of the other X-men turned as well, most of them looking as surprised as he felt when he felt. Seated up a little higher than them on the bleachers were the members of the Brotherhood: Lance, Pietro and Fred. "Does that mean that frog-boy's down there?"

"Why would that be any concern of yours, Summers?" Lance snapped down at him. "If it wasn't for Mystic getting him through this school, we wouldn't be wasting our time for the little twerp."

"If it's a waste of your time, then why are you here then?" Jean asked.

"He obviously doesn't have anyone else now, does he?" Pietro shot back. "I mean, he was here for us, so it's only fair, right?" Lance elbowed him sharply, and the white-haired boy shut up.

"Aww, I guess that means that you care for him after all." Jean said in a singsong voice.

"Yeah, well…" Lance looked at a loss of words. He only snorted, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back. "Like we said, if we weren't here for him, who would be?"

"All right, settle down." Xavier said, drawing the X-men's attention from up front. "We have a couple of our own down there, remember?"

"Professor, do you really zink zat Keety will be alvite?" Kurt asked.

"I have no doubt about it." The Professor answered calmly. "She has a good head on her shoulders, but like anyone else, she's just nervous. And it's usually that nervousness that gets one best through a situation like hers. Ah, there's the Preamble." He said as the school band began their fanfare.

The graduation ceremony always began with a triumphant fanfare from the Bayville High symphonic band, giving a foreshadowing of something great to come. Then the students began to file out of where ever they were waiting at and onto the field in pairs, boy and girl. It wasn't long before Rouge said, pointing out and probably speaking for the first time that night, "Ah see 'er! Right down thair! The secon' one in!"

Sure enough, Kitty was at the near front of the line, arm-in-arm with another boy who was at near the same scholastic ranking as she was, walking towards the front row of chairs. The entrance of the students was one of the longer events in the ceremony, but it was not long before they spotted Evan, who looked directly at them among their cheering and flashed a brilliant smile in their direction. Later on there was a short explosion of cheering and yelling behind them, coming from the three members of the Brotherhood, as Toad came onto the field as well. It looked as if he was having a hard time walking, as if he would rather be hopping instead. The girl he was escorting was looking less than pleased.

Once all the students were in their proper seats and seated, the principle, Ms. Darkholme, came to the center stage and signaled for them all to be seated in one simple, simultaneous motion. At the sight of her, Kurt leaned back to where Scott and Jean were seated and made a choking sound in his throat, causing both of his friends to stifle their laughter. 

The song Pomp and Circumstance came to a climatic ending and the entire stadium was silent before Ms. Darkholme gave her traditional opening speech; short and to the point, saying how pleased she was to see so many graduating faces and congratulations to a successful year. She moved on quickly to introducing all the important faces to the audience before turning the stage over to the first speaker, the school's Valedictorian. His speech too was short and very cliché, speaking too of his pride for the graduating class and his past love for the school. Now it was time to look to the future, blah, blah, blah.

"I vish he would hurry up." Kurt whispered to Scott. "Keety is next."

* * *

In her seat, Kitty squirmed uneasily. She wished that this guy would finish so she could get her own speech done and other with. Maybe it was the fact that she was so nervous that made time drag, but after what seemed to be almost forever, he finally stepped down and the floor was open to the school's Salutatorian. Taking a deep breath to steady her beating heart, Kitty stood and walked towards the podium.

There she stood, behind the wooden podium with the microphone inches from her mouth, looking out upon a sea of anxious, excited faces and being stared at by thousands of their loved one's eyes. Swallowing hard and trying desperately to find her voice, she took a quick glance over to were she had spotted her friends sitting. They were all there, all smiling. Kurt and Jean waved furiously at her. Her parents were there too, she knew that, forever supporting and forever loving. From in the crowd, Evan was waving, too. They were all waiting. It was time to do this.

Kitty reached into her sleeve where she had kept her notecards, but found nothing. A cold sweat gripped her. She checked her other sleeve. Nothing. She stomach turned to cold lead. 

__

She had left them on the seat of the X-van.

Kitty was shocked, paralyzed, her mind racing in a thousand different directions at once. What was she going to do? She couldn't just stand there, there were so many people watching her. If she stepped off, then she would be known as the girl who blew her speech at her own graduation, but she couldn't just _stand_ there. So she did the only thing she could do. Kitty Pryde cleared her throat, leaned closer to the microphone, and began to talk. "Good evening friends, family, teachers, fellow graduates. My name is Kitty Pryde and I am the Salutatorian of Bayville High School."

After that, the words flowed off her tongue like water. She remember all that should could from her old speech but, with adding what she could when she felt the strength of the support from her friends and family, it made it all the easier. She sighed, looking out among the audience, focusing her words and her speech very carefully before pressing on.

"Wow. It's amazing, isn't it? After four years, four long years of hard work and sacrificed time…here we are at last, Ready for the next step, to move away from held hands and ready to be on our own, finally. And if your high school experience was anything like mine, everyone sitting before me knows that the trip was not an easy one, or a straight path, but if your trip was anything like mine, you didn't have to do it alone. I think that at, one time or another, it feels as if we are alone in this, as if we are the only ones in the world going through it. There is no path in this world without its imperfections, but there has been, at one time or another, someone there to help us. Most of the time its parents, who helped raise us into the world, who have always been there to love and care for us. But I know that in some cases, it is not always like that, but I do know of other people who have been there for all of us.

"Those people are friends and I know in one way or another, all of us have them. For me, high school was not about the pep-rallies or the clubs or football games. Yeah, there was something about making the grades and the whole getting into college bit somewhere in there; can't forget that." There was some laughter around her. "For me, it was my friends that made these last four years memorable and truly special. If I had one wish for everyone here, it would be that they all have friends as great as mine. Whether they are the type that remind you when its time to start cracking down on the homework, the type that are there to make you laugh when you're feeling down, or even the silent type that are seldom drawn in but still put in a good work every now and then," From the corner of her eye, Kitty saw Rouge jerk as she was taken aback. "it doesn't matter. What does matter is that they have been there for us, through the good times and the bad. Even the friends that seem as if that sometimes they don't care, but always end up showing up for you in the end." Once again, Kitty glanced over to where she saw the Brotherhood sitting. All three had dropped jaws. "And sometimes friends can come in a form other than people your age. Sometimes they are people that you could almost consider your second parents.

"What I am saying, ladies and gentlemen, that it not wrong to remember what we did in high school, but it is the people who we did it with that we should truly remember, and the first we should think about when we reflect on the past. Now that it is time to step ahead, it does not hurt to glance back over our shoulder and remember what made these past years truly special." Her speech over, Kitty stepped back and away from the podium to announce that she was finished.

A wave of applause swept through the stadium like a wall of water with several people in the audience as well as sitting among the students standing up, all clapping madly. Kitty, her head bowed in modesty, returned to her seat in silence, sitting back down with several people clapping her on the shoulders and congratulating her on her speech. For a moment Kitty wondered if it really was her that had said all of that. It sounded totally unlike her, but the smiles and tears that she got from her peers told her right. From in the stands, Kitty could see the entire team on their feet, clapping probably harder than anyone else. Kurt was jumping up and down until Scott had to push him back down to his seat.

Ms. Darkholme seemed to be at a loss of words for several moments after the speech was over, but with a shake of her head, returned to the podium. There were a few more speeches to be delivered before the part that everyone was waiting for; the award of the diplomas.

It was the school's top students that were to be awarded first, and Kitty was among them. She had never felt so happy as when her diploma was placed into her trembling hand as she shook the school's administrator with the other. She even had to be helped down the platform so she could return to her chair. She did, how ever, stand up to cheer again as Evan came forward to retrieve his diploma, doing a dance for the audience as he went back to sit down. She even found herself for Toad who, pale and shaking, took his diploma in his webbed hand from a very confused-looking school official with a wrinkled nose.

A mighty cheer went up from the throat of the students as the last of the diplomas were handed out, throwing their arms into the air and leaping from their seats to turn their gold and burgundy tassels around to the right side of their faces. Ms. Darkholme returned to the microphone and said in a voice that sounded almost enthusiastic, "I now pronounce you as the graduating class of 2004!"

The band fired up again as they played the finale to Pomp and Circumstance as the graduated students filed away from their chairs to encircle the entire football field. Kitty could not stop smiling as she followed her peers in the arch, looking out into the audience. She almost lost the site of her friends as the crowd looked as if they were about to collapse the stands. The music of the band was lost in the clamoring din, but they did not stop playing until the last student had joined the vast arch. At the last note, the graduates cried out as one as they sent their caps flying into the air.

It was Kurt that was over the fence first as he avoided the flood of overemotional parents of friends as they rushed onto the field to meet their students. Kitty's smile grew as she saw her friend running over to her, tucked her diploma and cap under her arm as she ran to meet him. Laughing, she fell into his arms as they held each other tightly, only to have Evan barrel into them a few seconds later, embracing his friends in a strong three-way hug. 

"Con-gat-vulations, Katzchen!" Kurt said as he picked her up and swung her around. "I knew you could do it!"

"That was incredible, Kitty!" Evan said excitedly. "Where in the world did you get the idea to write that?"

"I didn't." Kitty said, breathing hard. Her friends blinked. "I left my cards in the van."

"Whatever it was, it was incredible!" Said a voice from behind as Jean wrapped her arms around Kitty and hugged her tight. "I knew that wasn't your original speech, but I liked it better anyway!"

"Yes, Kitty." Professor Xavier said as he was wheeled onto the field by Logan, Ororo close by his side. "I have to say that it was a very moving and very flattered speech indeed."

"The quiet one who puts in tha occasional good word, eh?" Rouge said, punching Kitty lighting in the shoulder. "Ah kinda liked it."

"Hey guys, check it out." Scott said, pointing down the field. Todd was standing among the other members of the Brotherhood. The greasy boy never looked happier as his friends looked to be congratulating him as well. "Do you think they got any sense out of Kitty's speech?"

"It would have been hard for them not to." The professor answered. "Come, let us return to the mansion. We can celebrate further there. That is unless, Kitty, Evan, you wish to stay here and participate in the school's celebration? Your parents will meet us there, as they told us earlier."

"Are you kidding?" Evan said. "And miss this chance to be with our friends? Lead the way, professor!"

Once they were back in the van, Kurt reached behind the back seat and pulled something out before handing them to Kitty. It was a small bouquet of slightly squashed red roses. "Here…I picked zem up earlier today. Zat's why mein hands ver all poked up today."

Kitty took the roses from Kurt and smiled. "Thank you, Kurt. I like, mean it. Really." She pecked his lightly on his fuzzy cheek and leaned against him as the X-van pulled out of the parking lot and headed home.

At that moment, Kitty thought about how lucky she was to have friends like hers.

------

****

Author's Note Continued: Okay, that sucked, ne? Please, show mercy! 

Like I was saying, this was written out of inspiration from my own graduation from high school a short while ago. Even though H/S was not my shining moment, it was my best friends that made it truly memorable. I didn't make a speech, but I think if I did, it would sound a little like this. I know this fic was terribly cliché, but the idea was there. But my friends are as important to me as Kitty in this fic, and writing it out helps me come in terms with it much better than words ever do. I hope that others feel the same as I do. When it comes down to it, school is not about what we do, but who we do it with, and who's there to share the memories when we're older.

Class of 2001

East Union High School

Okay, that was far too much mush for one night…I'm going to bed.


End file.
